The Moot Pointe Innuendo " We Never Check Our Sources " Comic Creator Admits To Most Of His Sordid Past Still denies any connection to the "Madonna Hot Fudge Incident." Reported by Marion Michael Morrison Staff Reporter Note: The Author granted this interview only after being guaranteed anatomical anonymity. The Creator of the wildly popular Moot Pointe comic was delivered into this world with but one desire, to suckle at his mother's breast. Born in a rented travel trailer to migrant radish farmers, he grew up poor, smelly, and with a persistent stomachache. Like most children raised in the wild, it wasn't until he was finally weaned and forced to forage on his own that he began to appreciate such delicacies as permanent press, short order cooks, and bus tokens. On his own, cold and scared that someone might turn him into a Nielsen family, he set out to discover the fabled hidden kumquat mines of Istanbul, and hopefully along the way . . . himself. Traveling by rail, he cruised the Seven Seas, only to discover that he liked Ranch Dressing better. Eventually shunned by much of the Pacific time zone, he settled down with his former yodeling instructor in a small Midwestern appliance box. At this juncture, and after suffering a severe blow to the head from an errant hockey puck, he concluded that the only way to dominate the world was to create a world of his own to dominate. Thus began the lonely, calorie filled cartooning years. While his left hand was left with the cartooning, his right hand was forced to seek work that actually put Spam on the table. During this time of horrific paper waste, 9 to 5, and raising little yodelers, there were attempts at comic contrivation along with a stint designing Jell-O molds. The latter turned out to be a pyramid scam, and the former continued to elude him (and fortunately so did a chronic sleepwalking neighbor with a butcher knife). Then one fateful, hot, snowy day around midnight - Tuesday to be exact - he was having lunch with a large cheesecake-filled conglomerate at a nearby Food-and-Lube when all of a sudden, as he conversed with his right hand, his left hand miraculously crafted out the entire cast of Moot Pointe on the side of an iodized salt crystal. The public response was overwhelming! Immediately the local authorities issued cease and desist orders and the international community called for his left hand to be permanently placed in a cast. Discouraging as this turn of events may have been to your typical struggling cartoonist/dictator, the Author, hardened by years of yodeling instruction, remained committed to bringing the satirical humor of Moot Pointe to all 7 of its dedicated fans. Today, his plans for world domination on hold, he is content to oversee his mail order molasses business while simultaneously being the Grand Poobah of the quiet, "gee, nothing much ever really happens here," little hamlet of Moot Pointe . . . and subsequently, he's left world domination to those less covered in molasses.

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